He asked her, "Is there a problem? Why are you bringing this up now?" It was a random discussion she was having with her man and she needed to express what was on her heart.
She recounted the story to me and this is what I told her: "See, when someone hurts us, it's like cutting your finger or some other body part. The worst part is the bleeding and depending on how deep the cut is, there will be lots of blood. Now, once the bleeding stops, you have to make sure to close the wound. And boy, does that hurt. An exposed wound is torture.
Many couples are in this space when there is conflict and it takes time for that open wound to close and to stop hurting. It may take days, weeks or years depending on the level of pain caused. Then, you move on to the wound healing and not hurting so much. But guess what? The scar is still there, visible and there for all to see. You can hide and use ointment to reduce its appearance but it is still there, reminding you of the moment when the cut first happened. As the years pass, you forget about the scar. Sometimes. Yes...sometimes. So, when your partner asks or doesn't understand why you're still bringing up an issue where deep pain was caused, tell them that the healing process is painful and that memories, like cuts, never go away."
Moral of the story: Practice mindfulness and care in all things to minimize having difficult conversations.
That's it, that's all.